Years ago, I was on the board of a grant program that started annual meetings by asking icebreaker questions. One specific question led to a response from a fellow board member that has stuck with me. The question was, “What is your nemesis?” The handsome and successful entrepreneur standing in front of me looked me in the eye and said, “The idea that I will never be enough, never achieve enough, be rich enough, none of this will be enough.” A few years later, his business blew up – and not in a good way.
Many top performers share one common trait: the relentless pursuit of excellence. But the same drive that drives them forward can also blind them to crucial aspects of their behavior that could sabotage their success. Carl Jung called them their “shadow aspects”: the parts of a person they would rather not see or acknowledge.
As a coach who works with driven individuals, I have observed a pattern: the better the performers, the stronger their resistance to examining their shadowing behavior. This makes perfect sense; no one reaches the top by dwelling on their shortcomings. However, this resistance often becomes the ceiling that limits their next level of growth.
The hidden costs of repression
If we suppress our shadows, we will not make them disappear. Instead, they tend to emerge in unexpected and often costly ways: the executive whose perfectionism drives away top talent, the entrepreneur whose need for control stifles innovation, or the visionary whose fear of vulnerability prevents authentic connection with his team.
The PRINT Survey, developed by Paul Hertz, provides a practical framework for understanding these patterns. Unlike traditional assessments that focus on our best self behaviors, PRINT recognizes that we all exhibit shadow behaviors: unconscious stress responses that arise when our core needs are not met.
Normalizing the shadow
What makes PRINT particularly powerful is the way it normalizes this shadow behavior. Instead of treating them as character flaws to be eliminated, it presents them as natural stress responses that everyone experiences. This shift in perspective is critical for leaders who may be resistant to acknowledging their shadow.
For example, a leader with a strong drive for achievement is best able to set ambitious goals himself and inspire others to excel. In the shadows, they can become overly critical and micromanaging.
Understanding that these shadow behaviors are normal stress responses and not personal shortcomings makes them easier to recognize and address.
The Choice Point
The real power is in recognizing our ‘choice points’ – those moments when we can choose between responding from our best self or from our shadow self. This awareness creates the opportunity for different choices and better results.
Take Timothy, a CEO I recently worked with. His pursuit of excellence had built a successful company, but his shadow behavior of harsh self-criticism spread through the organization’s culture. By normalizing and discussing these patterns through the PRINT® framework, he began to recognize his choice points: moments when stress could trigger his shadow response of anger or become an opportunity for growth.
Practical steps forward
- Recognize that shadow behavior is universal.
- Use frameworks like PRINT to understand your specific pattern of best self and shadow behavior.
- Practice identifying your choice points – the moments when you can choose your answer.
- Create supportive spaces for discussing shadow behavior within your leadership team.
- Model the vulnerability and growth mindset necessary for this work.
The paradox of shadow work
Here’s the surprising truth: the more you resist examining your shadow, the more power it has over you. Conversely, if you shed light on it – by normalizing it and discussing it openly – it often loses its grip on your behavior.
For aspiring leaders, this creates an interesting proposition: what if the next level of success isn’t about acquiring new skills or strategies, but about understanding and integrating the shadow aspects that are unconsciously holding them back?
It’s not about eliminating the shadow; what matters is that you work on it consciously and constructively. By doing this, leaders are more effective and create cultures where others feel inspired and empowered to do the same.
