Everyone talks about habits you need to give up or things you need to start doing. But the reality is that most of us have limited hours in the day and unhealthy addictions to things that are not good for us.
Instead of quitting cold turkey or trying to force another morning routine into my life, I’ve found it a lot easier to swap habits.
I traded six terrible habits for six better habits, and I can honestly say that these small changes have made me a more fulfilled and happier person.
1. Tumblr for Twitter
I spent one lot of time surfing Twitter. I deleted the app, but just logged back into the browser on my phone. When I’m distracted or struggling, I find my fingers mindlessly opening a new web browser and typing T. Autocomplete quickly takes me to my least favorite place on earth.
I realized that this habit was making me miserable. I also realized that I would have a hard time just quitting. Rather than stop altogether, I replaced one vise with a lesser vise. Tumblr is now my favorite time waster. I moved the Chrome app on my phone, which I really only used for Twitter, and replaced it with the Tumblr app. My well-trained thumb now takes me to a new place.
Tumblr is not as addictive as Twitter, nor is it as harmful. It doesn’t make me as angry or sad as Twitter does. It’s full of the most bizarre memes, and even the ads are more comical than anger-inducing.
Maybe you don’t like memes as much as I do, but whatever your poison, there’s bound to be a slightly less harmful alternative. I recommend Tumblr as a viable trade.
2. Read to write
It’s a weird thing for a professional writer to say, isn’t it? But it’s true. In the evenings I enjoyed typing up an article or a draft from a client while sitting next to my partner on the couch. I love writing, so it never felt like work to me.
But you know what I found? I got excited, my brain was running a million miles an hour, thinking about what to write next. I sat in bed an hour after turning off my laptop and couldn’t sleep.
It made me much happier (and more productive, because I got more sleep) when I swapped this habit for the much more relaxing reading habit. I’ve always been a big fan of reading, and now I read an average of three to five books a week. I stick to fiction (non-fiction gives me too many article ideas) and while I sometimes stay up late to finish a chapter, at least I train my brain in a different direction.
I miss those late night writing sessions, but I’m in love with my reading habit.
3. Paint to scroll
I’m a born millennial, which means when my partner and I sit down and watch The Great British Bake-Offor when I eat You on my own, I normally have my phone in my hand at the same time. It’s hard for me not to scroll.
I know I should just ditch the habit altogether, but instead I replaced it with something else that would keep my hands busy: painting. Lately I have also been into embroidery.
This allows me to focus on and enjoy the content I’m watching while avoiding the dreaded doom scroll, whether it’s on Tumblr or Twitter. Moreover, I get a nice painting or embroidery piece from it. If you find yourself picking up the phone while looking at a laptop or television screen, find something else to occupy your hands.
4. Community for engagement
As someone who makes her money online, I live by numbers. The number of views of the video I posted. The number of followers on my Instagram account. How many subscribers have signed up for my newsletter.
This made me miserable. First of all, I didn’t get into this job because I like numbers, but because I like helping people. Secondly, numbers always allow you to compare yourself and fall short, no matter what your career is.
Instead of counting numbers, I tried to use social media for what it was originally intended for: connections. I do this by ignoring follower counts and trying to build a community in other ways, by commenting on Instagram stories, connecting via Twitch streams, focusing on YouTube comments, creating my newsletter, and make friends with other writers. It helps me to focus on the individuals behind the numbers.
5. Daily runs for weekly runs
My mother came to visit me at my new home in Boston. While she was with me, I noticed her running every day.
“Mom, why?” I said to her from the couch as she put on her shoes to go outside on a particularly damp, cold evening after an exhausting day of moving furniture.
“It cancels the decision. I don’t have to worry about which three days I do it. I just know I will. I don’t worry about it because I know it’s on my list, just like brushing my teeth,” she said. And then she went into the icy fog.
I started doing the same. And I found it to be absolutely liberating to have to do something every day, without having to make a decision. I no longer feared running, nor did I panic about whether to do it today (cold, wet) or wait until tomorrow (possibly better weather). I just did it.
This made me happier and healthier. If you want to build a habit, remove the burden of daily decision-making and just commit to doing it every day. I love and look forward to my runs. I don’t always go very far, but I do it every day.
6. Calls for text messages
I love texting. It was so convenient! It was so low pressure! Perfect for teen flirting and casually keeping in touch with friends.
But the older I got, the less convenient it became. I might forget to answer. They would forget to answer. I wanted to reply but was embarrassed because it had been two weeks since I saw their text and it was too embarrassing to say, “Oops! I just saw this!” It was too hard to keep track of everything that was happening in each other’s lives.
So I did something that 17-year-old Zulie had never dreamed of. I started picking up the phone and calling the people I cared about. I usually just text to coordinate phone calls. I call relatives, friends, my partner, my grandmother.
If you really want to build a connection, ditch the relationship Splenda and go for the real deal. Trade text messages for calls and see how much happier you will be.
Habit formation is never easy
You either have to make room in your life for a new habit, or find a way to fill the empty space that results from dropping an old habit. I find bartering a much more manageable way to build a better life that I love.
These six little swaps can be applied no matter who you are or where you are in life. as long as you pay attention to how you feel during harmful habits and you have a clear picture of what kind of future you want to build for yourself.
Zulia Rane is a reader and a writer who believes in the power to change the world through the written word. You can find her writing at ZulieRane.composting selfies and art on Instagram at @zulierane and tweeting bad puns Tweet at @zulierane.
Image courtesy of Fallon Michael.
