“AITAH because I told a plus size woman that I like being ‘skinny’?”

Say to me, “It is never okay to comment on the bodies of others.” Whether positive or negative, comments about someone’s appearance can make them feel insecure and less confident about themselves. Since we don’t know what people are going through, it’s better not to comment on others’ appearance.

Unfortunately, this birthday guest didn’t get the memo. Every year during the celebration she met a woman and told her how thin she was. Growing tired of receiving comments about her appearance, the woman came up with a perfect response, which shockingly earned her a slap in the face.

Whether it’s positive or negative, it’s never okay to comment on someone else’s body

Image credits: pe_jo / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Unfortunately, this woman didn’t get the memo and caused quite a stir at a birthday party

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Image credits: kues1/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Heavenly bestie

57% of young people receive comments about their appearance at least once a week

57% of young people receive comments about their appearance at least once a week. 76% of those who are equally likely to worry about their appearance, according to the Verywell Mind survey suggests. This means that comments about our appearance can distort our self-image and cause us to think negatively about ourselves and our bodies.

“It doesn’t have to be a negative comment to have an impact,” say registered dietitian nutritionist Nohemi Lopez. Every comment a person makes about their appearance reminds them that others are noticing their body and, as a result, they may look for ways to make it look a certain way to gain social approval. Such thinking can have harmful consequences, increasing the risk of eating disorders and depression.

Unfortunately, too many people throw out comments about others’ appearance as if it were natural and sincerely mean it, without realizing why it could be harmful. “We live in such a weight-focused, fat-phobic society that it is bleeding into our society [daily lives],” says licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jenna DiLossi. “It’s so part of our culture that people, without even realizing it, say things like that.”

These seemingly innocent comments can have very damaging consequences because we don’t know the reasoning behind how someone looks. The person who has lost or gained weight may be grieving, recovering from health problems, experiencing depression, or struggling with an eating disorder. Reminding them of their struggles can make them feel even more self-conscious and stressed.

If you can’t say anything nice, it’s better to say nothing at all

Instead of focusing on people’s physical appearance and making them aware of it, we should focus our attention on their character, talents, values, humor and strength.

“Shifting the focus on personal qualities, achievements or efforts rather than appearance can help promote a healthier self-image and reduce the risk of negative mental health outcomes,” said licensed therapist Ny’l Thompson.

“Instead, we focus on making people valuable because of who they are, not what they look like,” explains Chelsea Kronengold, communications director at the National Eating Disorders Association.

Dr. Elizabeth Wassenaar, regional medical director of the Eating Recovery Center, also suggests replacing appearance-related words with verbs that mean action. For example, “You look so happy when you do that,” “I wish I could be there and join you in that activity,” or “Gosh, it looks like the sun is warm and you’re really enjoying it.” of Het.”

By making this change, a person moves from judging to taking the time to engage with others and the environment they are in, fostering connection and a better relationship with them. “It has nothing to do with whether their body is acceptable to society or not,” Wassenaar said.

All things considered, we should all try to adhere to this rule: if you can’t say anything nice, it’s better not to say anything at all.

Most readers felt that the original poster’s response was justified

While some felt that this was not necessary