One time, Will Smith was working on a movie set in Toronto. It was the middle of winter and they were filming night scenes, so the actors and crew were working from 6pm to 6am. Brrr!
During breaks, Smith could have huddled in his trailer and complained about the bitter cold. Instead, he ran around making jokes and delivering hot chocolate to the crew members. He acted on a question that he later explained was constantly on his mind: “How can I make this experience more magical?”
Working in the cold sucks, but the job had to be done. Instead of complaining about it, and instead of just putting up with it, Smith wanted to make the experience better (or more “magical”) for everyone else.
That question – How can I make this experience more magical? – is an example of a dominant question. It is a question that guides your decision-making process. We all have dominant questions, whether we are aware of them or not.
Do you know your dominant questions?
In my case, I spend a lot of time talking to myself or otherwise lost in thought. After hearing the anecdote about Will Smith, I started thinking about my dominant questions.
It turns out that they are quite easy to categorize as positive or negative. Let’s start with the negative:
- Why do I keep struggling?
- Why can’t I get my affairs in order?
- Why is [this thing I’m doing] is it not working as well as I would like?
- Why is my perceived social status lower than I think it should be?
The problem with these questions should be obvious: they reflect a sense of frustration, fixation on the ego, and low self-esteem.
Here, on the other hand, are the positive ones:
- How can I make the most of this day?
- How would I like to feel today?
- What can I do to be helpful?
- What should I do now?
My favorite is the first: How can I make the most of this day? It reminds me of Did Today Matter?, another question I ask myself, usually in the evening when I’m winding down.
Asking this question has less built-in ego attachment, while still allowing me to be myself without judgment.
The question “How can I make the most of this day?” includes the restrictions and limitations that any given day brings. It suggests that I consider a wide range of possibilities, along with their limitations and limitations, and come up with the best possible answer.
What can I do today? How can I use the time I have now? to the best of my ability – ignoring (as much as possible) the myriad problems that are beyond my control?
When I feel sad or discouraged, I try to think about this question more.
Do you know your dominant questions? What would you like them to be?
*I first heard the Will Smith story in the audio version of Limitless, a book by Jim Kwik.
Chris Guillebeau is the New York Times bestselling author The happiness of the chase, Starting $100and other books. During his self-employed life, he visited every country in the world (193 in total) before his 35th birthday. Every summer he organizes the World domination summita gathering of creative, remarkable people. His new book, Born for This, will help you find the work you were meant to do. Connect with Chris Tweeton his blogor at your choice of a global airline lounge.
Image courtesy of Olya Kobruseva.
