Maybe you’re not lazy. Maybe it’s a trauma response

It’s such a familiar feeling. You start the new year thinking this is the year you’ll finally do it – create that change, hack that new habit, join the 5AM club or a gym, start meditation, stop drinking after the first glass of wine, or cleaning out the attic. A few weeks later, that initial outburst has worn off and you notice that the treadmill is collecting dust, the healthy cookbooks are barely cracked, and the attic is still covered in junk.

The familiar voice of your inner critic kicks in. “I’m so lazy. Unmotivated. Of course I never get anywhere. I never stay with things. I lack self-discipline. It’s all my fault.” Here’s the problem. Having worked with thousands of post-traumatic people, I can tell you that I don’t believe in laziness. You may be thinking, “I just can’t get things done. Why am I like this?” But here’s the truth: laziness is not a character flaw; it is often a trauma response. When I hear a patient talk about laziness, I usually hear about trauma. This is why.

The traumatic origins of ‘laziness’

If you grew up in an environment where your needs were neglected, rejected, or judged harshly, you have likely internalized harmful messages. You may have heard, “Why are you just sitting there? Get up and do something!” – not as friendly encouragement, but as criticism laced with shame. Over time, your brain learned to equate activity with approval and rest with rejection or failure.

Here’s the kicker: When your nervous system is stuck in survival mode due to unresolved trauma, even tasks that seem “small” can feel overwhelming. Your brain may prioritize conserving energy because it constantly perceives danger. This is not laziness; this is your body saying: I can’t afford to take risks if I’m trying to survive.

And if you’ve learned that productivity equals value, your brain can also rebel against overwhelming expectations by shutting down completely. This may feel like procrastination or avoidance, but it’s actually a sign of emotional exhaustion – another byproduct of trauma. In many toxic homes, it is not okay to be a human ‘being’. You have to be human doing to prove your worth, to justify the oxygen you breathe, or to keep your fears and trauma thinking at bay. And when you’re done with that task, what’s the reward? Criticism. So why start if it only brings you closer to more pain?

Why you feel lazy

Trauma survivors often face a profound disconnect between their capabilities and their inner expectations. You may set impossibly high goals to prove your worth, but when those goals seem out of reach, you end up in shame. That shame reinforces itself: ‘See? I’m lazy. I can’t even try.’ But what’s really happening is your nervous system is asking you to slow down, reset, heal. Your body not only keeps the score, it also decides. Sometimes it says no.

Neurobiological origins of ‘laziness’

Let’s talk about trauma and executive functioning, because this is an area where so many post-traumatic people wrongly label themselves as “lazy.” Trauma and poor executive functioning go hand in hand, and understanding this can help us change the way we see ourselves.

What the research tells us

Executive functioning is like the CEO of your brain: it helps you plan, organize, manage your time, and complete tasks. Trauma fundamentally disrupts this process. Research shows that the prefrontal cortex (PFC), the brain area responsible for these skills, is particularly vulnerable to trauma. When we experience trauma, our brain switches into survival mode, activating the amygdala, our fear center. Over time, chronic activation of this system reduces the ability of the PFC to function optimally. This is especially true if your trauma occurred in childhood, when you are building capacities for good executive functioning in adulthood.

Studies, such as those by McEwen and Gianaros (2010), highlight how trauma reshapes neural pathways, affecting cognitive flexibility, working memory, and task management. The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study also links childhood trauma to lifelong problems with focus, organization, and impulse control. Schilden et al. (2016) further show how trauma reduces cognitive control, making even simple daily tasks feel overwhelming.

Why trauma makes you feel ‘lazy’

People with trauma-based executive functioning deficits often struggle with issues such as:

• Initiate tasks: Getting started feels impossible, not because you don’t care, but because your brain is stuck in survival mode.
• Sustainable focus: Your brain has learned to scan for threats, so staying engaged in one task is a challenge. This also lowers your energy levels, just as an unnecessary app can drain your battery.
• Manage time and organization: When trauma takes up mental bandwidth, remembering deadlines or structuring your day can feel like climbing a mountain.

From the outside, this may look like laziness. But laziness implies a lack of effort or care – and that is not what happens. The truth is that trauma has hijacked your brain’s ability to manage tasks efficiently.

What to do about it

So, what is the antidote to this painful cycle? Merciful curiosity.

1. Rewrite the story.
   When you hear that critical inner voice calling you lazy, respond kindly. Say, ‘This is not laziness; it is my body that requires care, or a lack of executive skills.’ Name the underlying feelings: fear, exhaustion, overwhelm. Recognizing these emotions doesn’t mean you have to give up; it means understanding Why they are there.
2. Build self-confidence through realistic goals.
   Trauma survivors often set themselves up for failure with sky-high expectations. Instead, set one realistic goal, one that is achievable even if you don’t reach 100 percent. If you succeed, celebrate it. Build that trust in yourself step by step.
3. Create safe, restorative spaces.
   Rest is not the enemy of productivity – it is the foundation. Give yourself permission to recharge without guilt.

The bottom line

You’re not lazy. What you experience is a nervous system stuck in survival mode, malfunctioning and a brain burdened by the stories of your past. When you approach yourself with kindness instead of shame, you begin to free yourself from those chains caused by trauma. You are not broken and you are not weak. You are a survivor. And survivors are anything but lazy.